Fallen
Journeyman Roleplayer
Guildmaster of Assassins
Saura'dae
Posts: 209 
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Post by Fallen on Jul 7, 2015 1:10:11 GMT -6
"As you should be." He responded, watching her move to help the elf. She had almost walked into him...was it the illness or was it because she was lost in thought? There was a tension in the air that caused his chest to constrict uncomfortably. Jealously...He new it was there, nipping at his heart and mind. Just like he had known where he would find Ashen.
His eyes flitted back and forth between the elf and the kinto, nit picking every little motion and glance between the two. It was what he'd been doing for the last day. He knew that it was unreasonable....irrational....maybe he was feeling this badly about it because his mind was already muddled with sickness. Or maybe it was because he needed Ashen now more than ever and she was with someone else...another drow, perhaps not in flesh but in heart and mind. She had once compared Shade to Kilindyl...except Lin can been a brother...a friend...nothing 'more'.
Shaking his head slightly and causing unclean locks of white hair sliding over his face, he glanced down. "I'm ok. Better than before." He looked up again, refocusing his mind on Ashen. "You need rest. If you don't, it'll get worse even faster."
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Shade
New Member
Posts: 12
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Post by Shade on Jul 7, 2015 1:25:45 GMT -6
Shade looked up at Ashen and smiled softly, "Thanks." She muttered quickly, glancing back at Fallen and looking away quickly. The tension in the air made her heart pound against her chest but the way her stomach turned didn't help. She pushed it down to the best of her ability and brought her knees up to her chest. This was awkward and she didn't want to be here but with the way she was trembling she didn't want to risk standing at the moment.
She inhaled slowly before letting it go and closing her eyes in order to relax and not look at the pale skin, it was unnatural and it wasn't her. She was a drow and this being an elf thing wasn't her and it never will be. Ever. It was disgusting and she knew she looked disgusting with the ring off and the temptation to grab it off the table and slip it on was there but she also didn't want to make Fallen uncomfortable even with the tension in the room it'd just make things worse.
Shade sighed and laid back again, "He's right Ashen, even though you're stubborn and insist that you're fine and healthy, you should be resting. You did just get back from a two week trip and an unexpected occurrence. And sadly i'm not talking about myself this time." She glanced between Fallen and Ashen before running a hand through her hair. "Does he know?"
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Post by Ashen Windsong on Jul 7, 2015 1:32:53 GMT -6
"i have been through much worse, someone has to keep this house running, leaders dont get sick days. i am pacing myself though, i promise. besides someone has to take care of you." she smiled at shade, only to ahve it melt instantly.
"know? know what?" Ashen paused for a moment looking towards fallen, then back at shade. Standing up slowly, she took her over coat and gave it to fallen. Even if he protested she put it on him in silence, racking her mind for what Shade could have meant. Stopping suddenly, Ashen grimiced slightly to her memory. "oh...shit...no...i ummm didnt tell him, about...the guy, shit."
Slowly she raised her gaze up to Fallen, her expression filled with worry as her head lowered slightly. she knew with that, she was a kintu in alot of trouble. it had completely slipped her mind with all the event of yesturday. how was she going to break the news of someone's Assassin attempt on her to him right now?
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Fallen
Journeyman Roleplayer
Guildmaster of Assassins
Saura'dae
Posts: 209
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Post by Fallen on Jul 7, 2015 1:45:32 GMT -6
"There are so many people that you can direct to do jobs instead of doing them yourself." He spoke in frustration, running a scarred hand through his hair, raking it back. With his hair completely away from his face, it only made him look even more gaunt and unhealthy. His skin had an unhealthy sheen and was a couple shades paler than it should be. It paled even more with Shades words.
"Tell me?" his eyes narrowed and he took a deep breath to calm himself. This resulted in a few rough coughs. "You know what? Whatever it is, it either doesn't matter or it can wait." There was way to much on his mind for this. If his head wasn't already pounding, he would probably have banged it into the wall a few times in frustration.
"You need to lay down and rest." He tried to keep his gaze entirely on Ashen, not wanting to think about Shade and whatever was or wasn't going on between them emotionally. "You won't be helping anyone if you push yourself so far you make whatever illness this is worse."
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Shade
New Member
Posts: 12
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Post by Shade on Jul 7, 2015 1:53:59 GMT -6
Shade glanced at Fallen and quickly looked down at the blanket, not looking at Ashen anymore. She felt like she was intruding and she probably shouldn't have said anything but curiosity killed the cat at the one but it seemed that Fallen's gaze could kill Shade at this point. It seemed to be doing a grand job though. Less jealousy seared through her as she reminded herself that Ashen was no longer hers to love but Fallen's and she'd slowly have to get over it. It was easier to mourn over someone then pull yourself out of love.
"Ashen, he's still right. Go lay down and get some rest. I'll be fine. I still have food and water and a new bucket.. now go lay down before you fall over kid." Shade moved so she was laying down on her side, her back facing the couple and her voice a bit more bitter with less emotion as she closed in on herself and tugged the blanket closer.
She needed to shut her emotions out for a while and try to focus on just getting out so that she was out of Fallen and Ashen's hair, she was more of a burden on them now. A worthless burden that ate their food and used their energy. She sighed and closed her eyes tightly, muttering a quiet fuck under her breath as memories of the rude words her father had said, repeating and slowly eating away at her.
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Post by Ashen Windsong on Jul 7, 2015 2:33:01 GMT -6
turning toward shade Ashen couldnt help but snap slightly, getting assaulted by both Fallen and Shade was bad enough but with both of them being bitter; she didnt want to be near either at the moment if it kept up. "Dont start giving me that emotionless shit you force fed me years ago, i can still read you like a childs book." her harsh words even made Ashen pause in surprise. "well, someone had to start talking...might as well if you both are annoyed with me anyway." she muttered. Shaking her head, she looked back at shade. with a sigh she spoke. "Sorry, just dont push me out again..."
Turning she now faced Fallen. "Or you either, if you want me to start listening..." Ashens gaze moved to both Fallen and Shade as she continued to speak. "the last time i left this house in charge of someone else, it was nearly run into the ground. pardon me for not having a proper second who inst tormented by there past, mute,or constantly leaving and not coming back for weeks to months at a time! all im trying to do, is help my best friend get better, and my husband so i can have some scene of normal to work on before this, this CHILD business happens and everything in my head figured out i need to have something to hold onto and i dont even have either one of you to hold onto. i couldnt sleep with my nightmares so sleeping is nearly impossible. you want me to rest? i cant do that with the two people in my life making it HELL where i go, if i pick one the other gets upset, if i pick both the tensions is so high i feel like im drowning... i want to help...i want to make this better...how can i do that if you both out your defences TO ME! the person helping you. you want to be defensive to each other? FINE! dont make me pay for it, for people who promised me i would never be alone again, your jealousy and insecurity is just making me BE alone..."
looking down to the ground after her rant, she brought her hand up quickly as she felt vomit begin to rise. forcing herself to calm down she realised the medicine had nearly completely run its course, her forehead becoming damp with sweat, her breathing becoming increasingly difficult to the point you could hear liquid in her breath. her frustration with her environment only made her head lighter as she leaned against the bed frame for a moment. she had no idea she was even this frustrated, helping others has always made her forget her problems; the reason she ran herself ragged to begin with. the past forty eight hours as been nothing but a constant reminder that her mind was busier then her rest of her, and she couldn't stand it. she didn't understand why Fallen was so upset over Shade, sure things happened but Ashen didn't feel that way to Shade any more, even with shades return her heart was for Fallen now. did he not understand that? was that not clear? was this all her fault?
Keeping her eyes on the ground she stood up straight from the bed post she leaned on, fists clenched as she fought off the anger brewing in her body. "i keep working, because it stops my mind from thinking, forcing me to sit still when i have so much to deal with, just makes me angry. i haven't left the house, because i know i need to be home, i cant cook or clean because im sick, what else can i do? both of you should know what happens to me when im trapped. Im not pushing myself...would it kill you to trust me a little? i already know i have more then one life to think about now... i dont even know where to start when it comes to this...this...THING growing inside me, yes im stubborn, not stupid." knowing full well both of them would take everything to the worst of what she spoke, Ashen just wanted to cut her loses now and leave. she didnt want to be near them, the weaker she felt , the more she thought, the more she pointed out she was indeed with child, and angrier she got. she wanted nothing more then to vent to Shade as she once did, laughing about the problems so she could face them head on, she was scared and wanted to speak to fallen about the child; none of this would happen until one of them smartened up.
she fought the growl building in her throat. She stepped past Fallen, avoiding his gaze and muttering. "i cant handle this any more...was planning on going back to bed anyway, sleeping on the bench..." making her way slowly to the stairs.
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Fallen
Journeyman Roleplayer
Guildmaster of Assassins
Saura'dae
Posts: 209
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Post by Fallen on Jul 7, 2015 2:56:35 GMT -6
Listening to her words made the drow physically draw back. Each point she made was like a literal blow. Right cross, uppercut, fist to the gut. He felt bile rise and knew that it wasn't because he was ill, although it probably wasn't helping.
Pain crossed his face and he took another step back until his shoulders hit the wall across the door in the hall. Sagging against it, he lowered his gaze unable to meet hers. He hadn't felt this helpless....hopeless...since...since before he'd killed Damian. He couldn't help her get better, he could barely stand upright himself. It seemed he also couldn't even let her be with her friend. When did the worry stop and the selfishness begin? The strength that he'd be drawing upon to keep him in the game and on his feet seemed to leave him then. "You're right.." His voice was barely a whisper. "I'm making it worse." She'd either stay on her feet and healthy or keel over eventually. He didn't have a say in it either way. "I'm.." He trailed off, swallowing whatever rose in his throat. What would he do? Nothing. He was stifling, he knew that, particularly recently. "...sorry."
He was afraid, insecure and jealous; not to mention ill and barely half the person he had been. She was right, she didn't need him telling her anything. Finally he spoke, his voice dull and quiet. "You can have the room...I'll...I'll be around when and if you need me."
Drawing upon what little power he could muster, he shot off the incantation to a teleport and in a blink was gone.
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Shade
New Member
Posts: 12
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Post by Shade on Jul 7, 2015 14:33:45 GMT -6
Shade rolled over again at Ashen's words, her eyes wide as she let go and said everything that had needed to be said. She watched the women grow up and never knew that she could ever hold that much anger and frustration in her, it was scary but she sat up and listened to everything that she needed to say, taking in each detail and the tone of her voice. She watched as she stumbled a bit and was quick to move to try and help but she stopped herself from moving too quickly and gave Ashen the space she needed.
She couldn't help but feel worse as she watched her best friend leave but she glanced at Fallen and watched the male stumble over his own words before disappearing. The words tracking sat at the tip of her tongue but she just sat back in the bed, taking a few deep and shaky breaths as she replayed what Ashen had said in her head. All of it hurt and made her chest tighten.
Why was she so god damn useless? All this was her fault. If she wouldn't have come back with Ashen then neither of them would be upset and have to deal with her. Jealousy with a mix of anger and fear boiled her blood which caused the stomach acid to rise and before she knew it her eyes were shut and she was puking again. All of it landed in the new clean bucket but it still made her feel like shit. She grabbed the water and washed her mouth out before laying back down and tugging the blanket close to her chest.
Her eyes fell shut as a few tears rolled down her cheeks, "This is my fault... Stupid elf." She muttered to herself, a sob racking through her body.
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Post by Ashen Windsong on Jul 7, 2015 20:30:56 GMT -6
(hours later)
Hours after Ashen had walked away, letting fallen and shade to do as she wish, she looked at the storm clouds coming from the east, as the sun was setting. She knew Fallen teleported away, but he wasnt home. no where to be scene...
Walking upstairs she gathered her tracking gear, Anger brewing so thick in her veins she wanted nothing more then to transform and rip something apart. however her child wouldnt allow her body to change at all. She had spoken with Freyan and Crystal, it seemed to be normal for a woman to experience changes in attitude when pregnant, and with how things where going they didnt blame Ashen at all. However under her anger, Ashen felt fear, abandonment, and sorrow. She simply wanted the point to get across, not to hurt them; even if they where hurting her.
gathering a change of cloths, medicine, water and food, the Lavender haired kintu slung her bag over her shoulder. taking in deep breaths as she did, still feeling and sounding as if she was drowning. Quickly she moved down the stairs and to the front door where her swords and bow rested near the weathered wood and chiseled stone. With a sigh, she looked around, others where still out and wouldnt be home soon enough to help Ashen track Fallen down. however, Ashen learned how to track the same time, A certain drow/elf did. swallowing her pride, she walked down the stairs, and walked to Shades room.
leaning on the door frame, the kintu knew she had little time before her medicine would wear off, and she only had enough for Fallen and Shade left. at least for today...
Raising her hand, she knocked her knuckles on the door frame that she leaned on, loud enough for the lump under the blankets to hear it.
"Shade, i need help...Fallens not home, its nearly sundown and storm is coming..."
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Shade
New Member
Posts: 12
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Post by Shade on Jul 7, 2015 21:03:18 GMT -6
Shade rolled over and looked at Ashen, coughing and sitting up. She rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath as she frowned deeply but she shifted so her feet hung over the bed. She was quick to nod as she coughed to clear her throat. "I-I'll help." She muttered. She slipped her shoes on and grabbed a dagger before taking a few shaky steps towards Ashen but she grabbed the bed post and held a finger up walking back to the nightstand and slipping her ring on.
Her breathing was shaky and a little bit off but she wanted to help Ashen and wanted to do her best to keep quiet and help Ashen as best as she could. That's all she ever wanted to do and that's what she planned on doing; helping Ashen to the best of her ability. That was all that she could do. That's all she needed to do. That's what her life revolved around, helping Ashen even in her worst times.
"I'm up, I'm helping." She muttered quietly as she walked over to her and smiled softly. "I'm also sorry.. for not.. being a friend." She sighed but looked her over once more. "I promise you, i'm going to try more. I mean it.. I really do. Once i'm healthy again i'll be able to keep you safe better and all that.." She took a deep breath and smiled softly.
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Post by Ashen Windsong on Jul 7, 2015 21:24:47 GMT -6
Ashen watched as Shade stood and got ready. it seemed the medicine was helping at least a little for her. Ashen knew she had more energy more, fight then Shade did. She watched as the magic slowly seeped into Shades skin, turning it to a sickly blackish grey. even with the charm she didnt look healthy. She wondered if Shade got the ring the same way Fallen did, and if someone was out there making more.
Watching the assassin ashens arms remained crossed on the door. she couldnt hid being upset, or mad. however she was simply that, she hadnt gotten any answers, or able to get any plans squared away. her eyes where puffy from tears, however now Ashen was a woman on a misson, so she waited. seeing Shades shape she wondered if this was truly the best idea or not.
Ashens gaze locked with the assassin, listening to her words. Ashen wanted to return the smile, but couldn't. not right now, at least. "I dont need promises, you promised a while ago the same promise you speak now...and i get it. i dont need protecting, if Fallen, or my sons go down, i fall with them. My hell...is when im alone. im left with my only enemy, myself. so, just get better, and help me...help me protect them, and dont leave me feeling alone. got it? you do those, you are helping me more then you can imagination..."
Ashen pushed herself off, letting her arms fall. her heavy head hung for a moment then she looked up a shade. holding her hand up, waiting to clasp Shades in a firm grip as they once did when they where children.
"ready, Shade? you can take the lighter weights, he's my husband after all."
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Shade
New Member
Posts: 12
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Post by Shade on Jul 10, 2015 21:58:26 GMT -6
Shade had an arm crossed over her stomach as it turned and ached, it grumbled also since she hadn't eaten and only actually drank the water and the medicine. It felt horrible to actually stand but she needed to help in order to redeem herself and prove that she wasn't as worthless as she seemed. Gosh, Shade has beaten herself up one too many times for being the useless kid she was/is. It was beaten into her at one point as a kid and it left a permanent scar in her memory but that seemed to be flooded over by the others with Ashen and the Academy.
The smile faded a bit but was quick to reappear to her lips but she brought a gentle hand up to Ashen's cheek, cupping it softly as she rubbed her cheek and the little tear stains that had been left behind. "I'm ready." She let her hand fall, taking her hand and smirking playfully. It was easy to relax and feel okay and distracted by Ashen but she had to beat it into herself to not leave her alone, unless really needed and help her protect her family. That was all she could ever do to help her. Now repeat.
Family, Ashen, Protect, Nobody gets left behind, nobody left alone or allowed to fell alone which also meant becoming a people person, damn. She mentally rolled her eyes at herself as she rambled on while walking right behind Ashen, a little bit slower but she still stayed caught up with her to the best of her ability.
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